What do you think of when I say “Intimate Sex”?
Is it a certain position or state of mind you have when being sexual?
Have you ever been told you have “Intmacy Issues” or do you feel a lack of so called intimacy in your relationship?
I think I have the answer to your question, what are the keys to opening up the channels of better connection, better attachment and better intimacy with your partner?
Knowing how to have intimate sex.
Think of intimacy on a continuum, on one side is your closed self, on the other end is your open self.
On the closed side, you are disconnected and shut down. Think eyes closed and holding your breath during lovemaking. You aren’t inhaling in the sent of your partner, you might be thinking negatively about them, your mind is someplace else, not oriented to this moment in front of you.
You are tense, stressed and cold. Disconnected.
On the other end of the continuum is your open self.
Your open self is connected with another, your mind open, your eyes open, looking into the soul of the other person. You are breathing in their scent, tasting their aroma, focused on presently what’s in front of you, thinking positive thoughts, not in about how you look, smell, taste or feel.
You are relaxed, warm and open. Connected.
Now think about the concept of open or closed intimacy. Think of the last time you were sexual with another person. Certainly, you can be open or closed sexually when you self-pleasure, but we are focusing on “partner sex” for this moment. Increasing intimacy with another person.
Now image what it could do for your sexual relationship if you brought the qualities listed above to the equation. Having a mindset and an aura of openness and relaxation aid in the bonding process during sex and make the experience a more quality one. Good sex can be like a glue that holds a relationship together in times of stress. Having sex be “tension reducing” and relaxing rather than “tension producing” and stressful will aid in the intimacy bond and the quality of the connection.
So much so that some couples report that good sex can bridge the distance gap in times of stress, such as during the child rearing years. Good sex is free, adds longevity to your lifespan, is excellent for your cardiovascular health and can contribute to a sense of calm and inner peace.
So what do you do if you find yourself on the closed side of the intimacy spectrum? How do you work towards having a more intimate sexual relationship with your partner?
First, you have to accept that you are a sexual being and that you deserve intimacy, sex, pleasure and connection in your life. Feeling shameful, worried or negative towards sex will only promote that frame of mind. If you need support to shed that belief try taking with a AASECT Certified Sex Therapist to help you work through your feelings in a supportive setting.
To read more please follow : https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/save-your-sex-life/201608/why-intimate-sex-is-the-key-successful-relationship