Nurturing a Relationship With Your Child’s Extended Family - Wholesome Life Journal

Nurturing a Relationship With Your Child’s Extended Family

2Open adoption is an unbelievable blessing. Adoption used to be taboo across the board, children were sometimes not told they were adopted until they were “old enough to handle it” (whatever that means) and birth mothers would disappear for nine months and come back after the baby was born. These days, those situations are nearly extinct, thank goodness. The majority of domestic adoptions are open, allowing for a different and more proper form of healing for all involved. Adoptees can know their biological roots. They can know they came from love and placed into love. Adoptive parents can live at ease knowing that there are more accurate resources for knowledge of their children’s medical history, among other things. Birth parents can form appropriate relationships with their children and their children’s parents, allowing them to know with a surety that their child is being loved and given a proper chance to live life to its fullest. There is one relationship that tends to be pushed under the rug, at least until the adoption triangle can figure themselves out. This is the relationship between the birth parents and the adoptive family.

I initially didn’t even consider having a relationship with my son’s extended family. It was his family that reached out to me and I had no problem with having more people to love. It helped me feel more of a connection to my son, as well. I was added by one of his aunts on Facebook, then another, then another. Then invited to his adoption finalization celebration (in Utah that happens around 6 months after the parental rights have been signed). So, my son was six months old, and I was thrown into meeting his entire family: aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, friends so forth. I felt completely awkward and so out of place, but not because of them. They were kind and asked thoughtful questions, they brought me into their home and their comfort zone with no second guessing. As far as they were concerned, I was someone that gave them a gift they couldn’t get from anyone else, and that was all they needed to know. Time passed, and eventually I came out of my shell. I realized they were coming from a place of love and not judgement. (Read More)

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