Sometimes relationships can seem like a lot of work until you sit back and realize just how much you’ve been given. A thriving, healthy relationship requires some give and take, and is absolutely within your reach if you and your partner are willing to do a bit of work. If you and your partner are right for each other, all the work will definitely be worth it in the long run.
Take responsibility for your own happiness: Save yourself several hours of arguing by remembering this one rule: it’s not up to anyone else to make you happy. In a relationship your partner will try to please you and make you happy, but in the end you are responsible for your happiness.
Make good on your words: Follow through on your promises. When you say you’re going to do something, do it. Don’t say that you’ll cook dinner, or get a birthday present, and then blow it off or simply forget about it. What this does is systematically destroy trust. And relationships need trust in order to thrive.If you’re bad at remembering things, write it down on a personal planner or calendar, and set up reminders on your phone.
Admit your mistakes: If you know you’ve done something to hurt your partner, intentionally or not, own up to it. Humble yourself and apologize sincerely, without making excuses or justifications like “I’m sorry you made me angry.” you have to be responsible for your actions and cannot make anyone else feel guilty for what you have done or didn’t do.Commit to changing your behavior. If you notice yourself apologizing for the same mistake over and over, step it up a level. Tell your partner that you recognized this mistake keeps happening, and you want to train yourself to stop. Request help and ask for him or her to gently point it out to you when you’re making this mistake again.
Be realistic: Every relationship has disagreements and days when staying isn’t the easiest choice. But what makes a relationship healthy is choosing to resolve those problems and push through the hard days, instead of just letting issues and resentment faster. Working through your problems will help you be a more positive person.Review your expectations. Do you see your partner as a person, with both winning qualities and flaws, or as someone you expect to be perfect? If your expectations are so astronomical that no one could live up to them 100% of the time, you’re setting up your relationship for failure. Learn to embrace their differences. You can learn a lot from them.
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