Build the Best Relationship With Your Kids by Doing This - Wholesome Life Journal

Build the Best Relationship With Your Kids by Doing This

01Life can be so busy and sometimes just finding a few moments to just be with your children can seem impossible. How often do we find time to enter into our children’s worlds? As a therapist, working with children and their parents using Parent Child Attachment Play, I have seen how powerful being present in the moment with your children can be.

Even 10 minutes a day, or 20 minutes every two days spent one-to-one with a child, where you allow them to lead the play or activity that they choose, can have wonderful results within the family.

It sounds simple but it does take a lot of practice and commitment. The following techniques can prove invaluable:

  • Focusing: The aim is to focus completely on your child during this playtime. Show your child that you are interested and attending to her by sitting at her level and following her play. Make eye contact with your child, look at your child so that when she looks up she sees you looking at her and realises that you are interested in what she is doing. Switch off your phone and make sure there will be no disruptions during this time. If thoughts enter your head, like “what will I cook for dinner today?”, acknowledge the thought and say goodbye to it for the moment. This is your time to enter into your child’s world.
  • Reflecting: Really try to connect with your child’s feelings in their play. Reflect these feelings back to your child to help them feel understood, for example “You are smiling because you are happy with your picture” or reflect the feelings of the characters they are playing with (“that dinosaur seems really angry today”). It shows the child that you are interested and want to understand them. It also helps to develop emotional literacy by identifying, accepting and labeling their feelings. If an emotion is expressed and goes unnoticed the child may think that it is not acceptable and may repress it. (Read More)

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