Boundaries: How To Balance Self, Others And God - Wholesome Life Journal

Boundaries: How To Balance Self, Others And God

18A few weeks ago, our Admissions Director Toni Kanzler introduced you to the book “Boundaries”, which we read this past Summer.

The book teaches us why it is so crucial to learn this skill as we mature, but it also pointed out that many of us either don’t learn or we have difficulty applying the concepts.  The concept of establishing boundaries affects every aspect of our lives.  In the previous installments of this blog, our MS/JH Principal Shane Schaffer and Athletic Director Adam Stevenson explored how we can use these ideas to establish and maintain healthy relationships with those closest to us, our spouse, children, family and friends.  I am going to pick up where Adam left off and describe how Drs. Cloud and Townsend apply these same concepts to our work, ourselves, and God.  This is the focus of Chapters 11-13 in the book.

Boundaries and Work

Boundary problems in the workplace can take many forms.  They all have one thing in common though; they cause frustration, stress, anger and sap your productive energy and make you less effective.  If these problems are rampant in an organization, it will be disorganized, dysfunctional and could end up straying from its mission.  It certainly will not be an organization that people look to for leadership.  The authors describe nine boundary problems in the workplace, but I will describe just a few:

#1 Getting Saddled With Another Person’s Responsibilities.  Many over-responsible people who work next to under-responsible people bear the consequences of their co-workers.  If you always cover for them, or bail them out, you will not enjoy the work relationship with that other person.  Their lack of boundaries is hurting you, as well as keeping the slacker from growing.  This is different than a situation where a co-worker legitimately needs some extra help.  If they are normally responsible, but temporarily overwhelmed, it is a loving thing to assist them in that moment.  We need to learn to see if our help is making the other person better or worse.  If our help is enabling another person’s irresponsibility, then we are not helping them to become better. (Read More)

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