1. Oh my god, where did you come from, most perfect person I have ever met?!
Kissing you is the best and hanging out with you is the best and also not having to date someone who is a total loser is the best! Plus, you are so hot! How are you so hot?
2. Oh my god, you listen to Sixpence None The Richer’s “Kiss Me” unironically, too???/Wait, you listen to Dave Matthews Band and you’re openly admitting that?
I’ll just tell myself you don’t really like DMB and focus on the Sixpence tidbit, and we’ll get through this.
3. Every song I listen to reminds me of you.
“Drunk in Love”? You. This weird EDM song that’s mostly just beeping sounds with a foghorn playing over it? Somehow still you.
4. That one thing you do is really weird and I’m not completely into it.
I’d be lying if I said that the fact that you brush your teeth using only baking soda wasn’t confusing and strange, but I still like you a lot, so who cares? No one is perfect.
5. I’m just gonna Google your exes really quickly.
Just to see if I’m hotter than they are. No big.
6. Uh-oh, I’m mad at you and you’re mad at me.
I don’t want to have a fight because I hate fighting but I’m also mad at you. And now you’re mad at me because I was mad. I’m glad you told me about it and actually, you handled it pretty well, and you know what, I handled it pretty well too. Man, what can’t we survive?
7. Man, the qualities I do not love about you are really piling up.
Again, it’s cool though because they don’t really matter and all your other qualities are seriously top notch. Still feelin’ it.
8. Will things always be this great?
A lifetime of just pleasant experiences and awesome sex? Is that a thing?
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